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The fence between church and state
October 1, 2007

I'm a recent addition to the artists on Pirates Alley. I spent a significant amount of time and money at city hall acquiring my permit be a legal art pirate. Unfortunately, I haven't sold anything from the fence. Therefore the city hasn't made any tax money from my sales and I'm still in the red.

Late morning I was going to get a sandwich, so I walked over to my friendly fellow artists to ask them to keep an eye on my work for a few minutes. They were sitting in lawn chairs having a deep conversation with Sister, err... Father John. John was having a gay time bad mouthing someone. I didn't want to intrude so I stood waiting for a break in Johns speech. The artists smiled at me but immediately returned their attention to the priest who marrily ignored my presence. I'm accustomed to the one way conversation of priests, but I find to not even make an eye contact acknowledgment, rather rude. I continued to wait for a good time to break into the diatribe to ask my new friends for their guard eye.

John said, "from the back of the Cathedral we can hear everything they say. It's just ridiculous. The Haunted History Ghost tour guides make up stories. There were no duels in the court yard in the past. The police barracks used to be right here, along with the prison. And when people die on church ground they don't go strait to hell. I don't know, that sounds like a Muslim belief. They just make things up from their imagination." I couldn't resist the opportunity to break in and since he had already been rude to me I felt justified. I asked in a robust and animated manner, "Do you see the hypocrisy in what you're sayin'?" John replied, "They lie about the history of their ghosts!" I said that was exactly what the Church does except the Church presents it as fact, not as an entertainment. John said he wasn't going to have that conversation.

I was well aware that's how it was going to end and felt satisfied that Sister John played right into his role as master of ceremony. I let my emotion bounce off of the Catholic artists drooling over Sister's complaint of the infidel entertainers. They were shocked that I didn't unconditionally revere a spiritual ass dressed like a ninja with a white collar.

After I ate my lunch I went back to smooth things over with my new Catholic artist peers. Immediately one of them came up to me shouting that he, "didn't know about me now" and "I was wrong for being rude to a priest" He repeated that he wasn't sure about me and that I was rude and wanted to know if I knew I was rude. I retorted sternly that I knew very well that I was rude and did so in response to the priestess being rude to me. He said, "You broke into a conversation you knew nothing about with your outrageous behavior and are being rude right now for arguing with me!" I said, "It is you who raised your voice at me, I am simply responding in kind!" Luckily the freshness of that shut him up.

Later that afternoon I went back over to chat a little when the rectory director approached us. I told him that I was an alter boy. One of the Jesus artists sniped, "but now he's a know it all atheist." I asked the director if the fence was city property or if the church owns it. Surprisingly, the fence is church property even though the city collects taxes from the revenue it generates. Unfortunately, We, The Artists of Saint Louie's Cathedral, don't enjoy the same tax exempt status as the Church.

On the completely secular Action Andrew Jackson Square fence there are a few rules the artists must follow. First, the work must be produced by hand, limited to drawings and paintings. Second, the work displayed may not be pornographic: no nipples, penises, assholes or pussy; it can not be political: no paintings of donkeys (horse sculpture withstanding) or elephants. Finally, the work may not be Pirated.

The head priest informed me that he is upset at the city for cornering the market of the fence. Although I'm sure he's pleased the city pays to have it and the sidewalk maintained. He wants the church to be able to take the cut of the artists income instead of the city. I smell 10%. I was shocked when I was informed that the artists need the constant consent of the hard head priest, to display our work on the fence. It's taken for granted that we can't display art that criticizes the Christian faith but the thought of having to be Christian friendly boils my blood. Once I have a regular job and I'm not relying on my art sales for my survival, I plan on doing a series of oils depicting Allah, God of gods. That should prove to be an entertaining week.

The smarty pants jean
October 3, 2007

Many people believe that intelligence is an inherited trait. IQ tests aren't a black and white indication of ones intelligence because intelligence has a wider spectrum of applications than algebra, language and geometry, but it's our best objective guide to date. After I took my first professional IQ test and scored 125, without any collage education, my parents instantly became proud of me. To them it was obvious that they had a huge part in fostering my above average score. I think my father believes he simply scared the brains into me and that some form of intelligence osmosis occurred from being around his Green Beret circuit friendly endeavors. My mother, on the other hand, mentioned that she believes my grandfather could do large mathematical equations in his head, though the calculations always ended in the hundredth of cent.

I love my parents and they provided many wonderful gatherings and celebrations but I can't remember them stimulating me intellectually. At best, my dad would play chess with me during the commercials of M.A.S.H. We played a few hundred games and I lost every time. I don't know how I didn't get discouraged or why my dad didn't help me out. Twenty years later my opening game is extremely strong against people who don't have the openings memorized but my end game is still a child's play. My mom is a nurse and was pleased to label me a doctor and give me the visible man; what's cooler than a plastic miniature nude man with removable parts? My guess is that the most beneficial thing they did was to have an extremely dysfunctional relationship which caused me to become "more objective" in my judgments of them and therefore myself. Their relationship also sent me through constant changes, moving back and forth, from school to school, which forced me to adjust to a wide variety of situations, become proficient in making new friends and adapt to new social norms (probably one of the most complicated things in the universe). I laugh to myself when I hear my parents blame me for me switching from parent to parent because "I liked the rules of the other parent better." The truth is that I felt the need to spend time with both of my parents and my moving conveniently coincided during the times they were going to ship me to military school or rewrite their TOUGHLOVE® contract. The downside of my parents beneficial dysfunctional relationship is that I don't even have one memory of my mother and father having a conversation. I recently asked them why they don't talk and they both said, "what do we have in common?"

The reason I don't think intelligence is inherited has little to do with my parents. I think it's quite possible that I wouldn't score so well on IQ tests if I had parents that guided me into intellectualism. What I learned from both of my parents was the value of dedication and blind persistence. The one thing they did teach me they've been disappointed with in me because our values are so foreign to each other. I value new experience, adventure and art; they value repetition, stability and god. I wonder if my mother ever curses herself when she remembers saying, "I don't care what you do, as long as you do your best at it." That was fine when I was 12 and I spoke of being an astronaut or a doctor. It was even fine when I was in chef school, but when she found out my goal was to be a cook, she felt disappointed.

Intelligence, in and of itself, is a strange term. It's not aptitude, which my have a genetic element, even if it's on the roulette table of sperm and egg combos. It's not knowledge in the strict sense of the word, although knowledge aids intelligence and is also a byproduct of it. Paradoxally, I almost believe that emotion has the largest role in excelling in intelligence.

The brain, and therefore the mind, work in tandem throughout life. When the mind hits on things it decides are good, fun and valuable, the brain releases some pleasure chemicals. This can wreak havoc when the mind fails to perceive the big picture with drugs, smoking and extreme sports but typically the function works for the benefit of the self: Fix something beautiful, dopamine release; Save the day, adrenaline release; Produce a nipple suck, Oxycotton blast. The intelligence junky is a strange one. Although there is a fair amount of reward in the brain for simply storming, absolute new discoveries are fairly rare. No, the lover of intelligence is the person who gets their kicks off of realizing their false assumptions. When most people discover they were wrong they become upset and suffer from CJS (Cortisol juicing syndrome). Therefore most people ovoid putting themselves in the situation of being wrong, exactly the place where intelligence is fostered. Dumb-Dumb will sometimes even lie to themselves and ignore new information, when it is counter to something they've assumed as infallible. The brainiac gets their rocks off, "I was wrong, Hallelujah!"

Transcript from Birthright Israel promo video - "What's up I'm Jess. And I'm Zack. Check it out, we're here in the Holy Land for a 10 day Taglit trip to Birthright Israel, and it's awesome. Totally. So now we thought we'd explain a little about how it all works. Ok, so here's how they made it possible for us to experience the Jewish homeland free of charge. Funding for Taglit birthright Israel comes from, the people of Israel through their government, individual Jewish philanthropists and local Jewish communities around the world. In North America that's your local Jewish Federation. Taglit birthright Israel then acts as an umbrella and hires organizations called trip organizers to take you on the trips. While each of these trip organizers provides unique trips, all of them follow the basic itinerary that Taglit birthright Israel worked hard to design, so that you'll get the best balance of understanding of Israel. Most trips will visit Jerusalem, Tel Aviv in the north, archaeological digs, memorials and museums. Zack don't forget the dead sea, ancient roman ruins, hiking in beautiful out door locations like Asada and time spent with Israeli peers. Trips sessions run twice a year, in the summer and the winter. But there are over a dozen trip options each session which is great because you can choose the one that fits you best. After your 10 day trip in Israel you have the option to get involved with Taglit birthright Israel alumni groups. Hey check it out, Taglit is the Hebrew word for discover, birthright certainly made sure we had plenty of that. You know it. Now all of you out there have to join us for the experience of a life time."

The Palestinians are delusional for fearing Jews and are obviously being indoctrinated with hate in their youth. The Terrorists that fly plans into buildings and kill themselves in buses are cowards and without imagination. The following are clips from a Flash animation found on the Taglit-birthright Israel website: click on "The Gift Explained" graphic of "Israel" or click here for the Jewtube version.

Prescription for theocracy
October 9, 2007

Theocrat Theodore Beale recently published a comment about a Sam Leiths article on the recent Buddhist monk protest in the Union of Myanmar. Sam concluded that, "What's happening in Burma is an object demonstration of courage and faith; and of the enduring power of a gentle, infinitely suffering thing." Sams conclusion that the monks demonstration was the soul product of faith is unfounded. Sam quoted Patti Smith with the true force behind the protest, "get 'em like Gandhi; get 'em with the numbers" That's not classified information and the reason why every self selecting group always encourages the mass reproduction of the adherents regardless if it's religion, race or ideology. After all, if it wasn't for hot Asian sex, the monks wouldn't last more than one generation. Only those humans who know that earths biggest problem is human population are driven to control their multiples. Unfortunately the answer must be a collective solution, something Team Human hasn't been able to pull together. Will we be stuck in a catch 22 until every last animal suffers from our population? I hope not.

I don't know what the situation in Myanmar is and I'm not going to voice my opinion about what ought to be there. But images of monks dressed in warm colored robs herding throughout the secular sections of the city carrying sticks instantly conjures up the "life blood" metaphor in the acute observer. Without doubt, having a common mind and a system designed to propagate the common mind, is the most powerful tool democracy has ever known. It comes as little surprise that State leaders have used religion and the media to propel their personally driven ends. I'm baffled as to why so many people feel the need to be part of the common mind. It makes sense with swarming insects who aren't capable of independent thought. But why we would desire such a thing is almost incomprehensible to me. The mob and religion do not foster "courage" in the individual, they produce xenophobic fear that overpowers rationality.

Theodore said, "The reason that religious faith and totalitarianism will always be at odds is because the entire point of totalitarianism is its demand that there is nothing greater than the State." It's easy to jump to the conclusion that we either have a Secularist State whom promotes Free Religion or one that promotes Atheistic Communism, when we examine our resent history. But Theodore postulates a false dichotomy. Religion is inherently a totalitarian system because of what all religions stand upon: obsolete unfounded truisms, the grand pun of the ages. Certainly totalitarianism is no better than theocracy; the only real difference is that totalitarianisms rules are usually dictated by a single secular individual and religion from an antiquated book or self selecting committee.

The belief that, "God and even the supernatural are things beyond the inherently material State, at least in the absence of a god-king" is a commonality between even in the most foreign of religions or communist regimes, where the "Great Leader" replaces Dalai Lamas, Jesus or George the Nth. Thus if, God-king, God, or King are essentially the same thing in the mind of a desperate and scared flock, what is the opposite? The Truth: that the only thing to fear are things that cause unjustified fear and that it's impossible for someone else to do our thinking for us. I'm frightened for a reason. People who say there is nothing beyond the State are doing so in reference to law and order. It's obvious that justice is dependent on a just government, but those who trust in God to check and balance the State, instead of The people who recognize the principle of individuality and equality, are a monster who's tyranny surpasses even most vicious of dictators. The most troubling element of Theocracy, when compared to that of deluded great leader, is that god-prophets can only die once, and their words seem to grow in strength with time.

The "great leaders" are destined to look ever more silly with a refinement of truth. When the totalitarian State fails it's blamed on the leader, when the Theocracy fails it's blamed on the heretics. I hope that Humankind will make it to the point when our descendents can look back and perceive the silliness that is Religion and GodKing.

Leave the troops there, lower their pay
October 30, 2007

The first war protest I ever watched was from the balcony of The Crescent City Brewhouse. I was haveing a great time eating and drinking with my land lord, Ajit Singha Asi. We're both peace lovin' fellows but like most people, both of us have the capacity to use violence or threats of violence to manifest our justified will. For me this was most notably done by removing crack-heads from my stoop. Though Ajit is of a much larger stature than I, he is a naturally gentler man, but his background is from the warrior faith Sikhism. The Sikhs are bound at times to grow their hair out, carry a tiny comb, wonder woman bracelets, special underwear and a short dagger. To those of us who are juvenile this may seem humorous, but anyone with sophistication will recognize the garb as a means to achieve ultimate religious coolness. At any rate, it sure beats a Zucchetto Stole Cassock.

As we sat on the balcony at the beginning of the Iraq invasion watching the protesters, I couldn't help but feel no connection to the movement. The primary reason being that I had ignored history, international/national/local news and politics my entire life. Only a fool would say they're against something when they don't know what it is. More than that though, what I recognized was somewhat of a fashion statement being made with the protesters and their totally hip political action. I'm not sure why the French Quarter was decided to be the best place to make an impact: Jefferson would be a much better target. The first decade of this Millennium has proven to be quite an earth shaker, for it successfully perked my ears to the "events" of humankind and political agendas. It only took a terrorists attack, an idiot president, neohippies and North America's largest man made natural disaster, to do so.

Since then I've taken a crash course in politics and religion and the insanity both tend instill in a man of a rational nature. A good example of this just happened in the election of Louisiana's first "Indian" head of State. His name is Bobby and he is as southern, catholic and republican as any politician I've ever seen. The newly elected President George W. Bush appointed him Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services for Planning. Seven years later, less one charity hospital, Bobby is still about as Indian as I am. I don't really know enough about him to outright dislike him, but on a very superficial level, I just can't stand his prickish grin. I hope the Vishnu is on his side. After he won the election, I watched WWL in astonishment as Indian businessmen materialized on my tiny TV stating that they are getting ready to do business with our State. I know we have the enormous asset of the Mississippi port but why on earth do we need an "Indian" governor to import Indian goods? It sounds racist to me. Maybe I'll call any local big business corporation and complain to an Indian in India about importing outer sources. I liked the message behind Campbell's campaign. Louisiana should be compensated from the foreign oil imports that wreck our wetlands, endangering the gem of the south; we don't need more cheap foreign curry powder.

I've been hearing more and more sympathies going out to our foot soldiers in Iraq. "Bring our boys home" is the mantra. Has anyone asked the boys why they chose to be in the military, if they don't want to be fighting the good fight? The people elect the president, the president declares war, the boys are slaving for freedom. It's their honor, it's their adrenalin rush, it's their paycheck, it's the learned skills and experience they'll use at home for the rest of their lives. I am against this war but the war is simply the end of a chain of votes by the United States people. That's why I believe the draft is an essential element in a Nation State's Army. I'm concerned about human rights and world peace but on a survivalist level, I'm concerned with the peace in my backyard and the liberty behind my apartment walls first. To achieve this there is only one solution: Everyone needs to mind their own fucking business and the States need to be treated equally by any axis of goodness. This is a difficult goal to achieve so long as gods deciding what isReal eState.

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