Jan 23 2008
Homeland Security Edition
In a recent trip to California on a Greyhound bus in southwest Texas we pulled over for a illegal alien / drug search. The men in rip resistant green boarded the bus packin’ 9 millimeters and walked down the aisle. A young bow legged Homeland boarder agent with a ten gallon hat poked down the rows asking everyone if they were American. I found this to be a strange question because everyone from the north pole to the tip of chili is an American. I was going to say, “I’m American if you consider New Orleans a member of the union”, but decided not to be smart and answered yes.
While the dogs were sniffing my luggage an Asian couple were having a problem with an agent. The girl was obviously a US resident or a master of accents. Her boyfriend however didn’t speak English that well. Through the discourse I discovered that he is a Viet Nam citizen visiting her girlfriends parents. The agent asked him for a green card. which he didn’t have. I over heard the agents outside the bus, “should we detain him?” was asked to the cowboy. He replied, “How much time do we have left?” Then the cowboy asked the driver how much behind schedule we were: an hour and a half.
I sat in my seat wondering why their weren’t any Geiger counters accompanying the German Shepard’s and why the Viet Nam guy needed a green card and not a passport. It may just be me but I felt as though the Men in Green are a prelude to a more severe and intrusive biased Nationalism. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. I can easily look past a cowboy Homeland agent using improper geographical language but I can’t help but think our bus would have been held up had the Vietnamese fellow been Arabic.
Maybe it wasn’t the slanted eyes that got our bus back on schedule. Maybe it was the fuzzy teddy bear that he used as a pillow that fostered his travel without proper identification. At any speed, we arrived at the next gas station were dozens of “south of the boarder” neighbors were waiting outside in the cold for what was most likely a law breaking contractor.
If you decide against being a cop, I hear that the INS is dying for recruits.
You can be an alien buster.
that lil wheaten terrier was sooo lunch.