Apr 03 2008
Ladies and Gentleman
Two years ago I woke up in my pad and found four of my paintings turned sideways on the wall. I verified the fact with a neighbor and indeed something had changed the orientation of my artwork. She said, “Be careful”. Since that time I have been haunted with events that don’t break the laws of physics but definitely violate the laws of probability. After I gained the knowledge that there was indeed an agent manipulating me, my mind went into a state of overactive agent detection. My pattern recognition mental processes went into a state of hypersensitivity thrusting myself into two years of paranoia and mental torture. I don’t know what is doing this to me. I have speculated a million scenarios and have begged for mercy, the truth, why! The two possibilities that I have disregarded are the supernatural and the possibility that I actually am crazy. I feel confident that I would be able to tell if I was hallucinating and have never had anyone confront me as if I were hallucinating. If it is a supernatural agency it is behaving in a manner so as to be indistinguishable from a highly networked human made construct. After two years, I have finally began speaking to friends and family about it. They, as you are sure to do the same, think I am highly arrogant for thinking that I’m special enough for an agency to take an interest in. Or, of course, that I’m being cursed by a demon of hell fire or guided by an angle of heavens delight… I’m just an average guy making my way through an intense point in our history. I don’t think I’m anything but Robert the artist and thinker.
I’ve always felt special but the addition of them has made me feel like a freak . I’ve begged to know why this is happening to me. I feel as though my mind has been raped by these thoughts, dominating without my consent. It’s as though I need water, but worse, because needing water one knows the subject of the problem. I know n0thing. Ladies and Gentleman, this is the paper trail. I’ve been suffering from the Stockholm syndrome, sympathizing with my captures, emulating them. Well, I’m not going to hide anymore. I’ve run out of ideas, out of experiments. Now, maybe you’ll emulate me. Show yourself.
If it is a supernatural agency it is behaving in a manner so as to be indistinguishable from a highly networked human made construct.
Humans are God’s hands on deck, Robert. It can’t all be burning bushes.
As for the context, you are only thinking about your past and present. God knows your future.
Why do you continue to resist? Would you prefer to be ordinary? It could be arranged, if you are committed to that course. There are many ways to reach the goal, and you are not necessary. But you are convenient.
If life returns to “normal” will you feel cheated? Or are you addicted to the course corrections?
If life returns to “normal” will you feel cheated?
I’ve thought about this quite a bit. When Thit (they / (it (for the supers))) first said their unmistakable hello, I thought I had it made financially. After all, what more does an entertainer or artist need than an audience? We need nothing, name is everything. I felt cheated when no one bought my paintings because of my name. But I didn’t feel that cheated because I don’t think the interaction was because of my paintings. I think it’s because of my brain and keyboard taps. No one usually gets mullah because of their blograins.
Or are you addicted to the course corrections?
No. And quite frankly, if they are corrections, they need to be a little more specific. I don’t even know if it’s Buddha or Jebus running the show.
BTW, I don’t believe anyone is a burning bush. And if the supernatural does exist isn’t it more likely that it’s an evil spirit that takes control of a humans will? I thought free will was in god’s game book.
well, seems to me humans are more likely to believe in the supernatural when 1) they’ve been brought up in a religious or superstitious household and when 2) they are experiencing a time of great stress. historically the priestly class has kept itself afloat by keeping the masses shivering in the dark, illiterate, uncomprehending, and totally trapped in the worst kind of poverty. that’s how it was in europe in the middle ages and how it is in parts of asia even to this day. when your poor and depend on your “betters” for employment, you live in their shadow all the time. when you’ve got five children to feed and no other recourse but employment with a noble or a priest you don’t dare wonder aloud WHY they are rich and you are poor, and anyway the priests have already told you: it’s god’s will. the religious poor remained religious, poor, illiterate (the lords and priests wouldn’t allow serfs or slaves an education for obvious reasons) and living in fear of the wrath of sundry deities, demons, and sprites.
for sure, there are unexplainable things in the empirical world, but because we lack answers this year doesn’t mean there won’t be answers next week or next year or perhaps at some point after our lifetimes. as the bronze-age hebrews said “let there be light” –the light o reason, and let there be freedom from fear and superstition.
Well, freedom from fear and superstition are all well and good. But evil does exist.
Don’t be afraid… just be careful.