Metaphysic Storm

Louisiana legislatures have just passed a bill which allows science teachers to supplement their 7 year old science books with material that the state Board of Elementary and Secondary Education deem appropriate. Opponents to the bill claim that this is a covert way to incorporate Intelligent Design in the public schools science classes. Biologists and the New Atheists across the Nation have since looked at Louisiana in befuddlement at our desire to keep our children as dumb as they can be. The designers of the bill state that it’s purpose is to encourage free thought in the science lab. Hopefully similar bills will be passed for the History curriculum, the one place that questioning the facts is really appropriate. The record of history, after all, is selected out by the men whores sexes the most with the biggest and bestist gun. Three days latter the same legislation voted for their %300 pay raise.

I admit that I don’t know that much about evolutionary biology. I do understand the basic facts and implications. Random mutations occur in the copying process of DNA. If that mutation is detrimental the individual will have less favorable odds of succeeding in life, which objectively is reproduction. If that mutation is beneficial to the current environment, even in the most insignificant amount, that lineage will have more favorable odds of succeeding. I have no problem letting the abstract parts of my mind witness the development of the eye from pond scum, but I have a difficult time seeing current birds as little dinosaurs. I have relatively high confidence in the professional evolutionary biologists determination that the birds are little saurs. The abstract parts of my mind is also able to see quite easily that the fossil record is never going to give enough physical evidence of where everything came from. But I never needed that, all I needed was the fact of random mutation and statistics.

As an artist, I might not be a master of biology but I am a specialist of design. That’s my job. I take Carbon, TiO2, cadmium, cobalt and others, mix them up on a surface and design images for viewers to enjoy. If you were walking in the desert and came upon one of my paintings you would look at it and intuitively know that there was a designer behind it. That is called a truism. It’s obvious that the desert didn’t weave a canvas, refine pigment and arrange it is such a way as to make an illusion of an island sunset. So, as an expert on design, I thought that I could propose a supplement for the science classes of Louisiana. That is the only “legitimate” argument against evolution so far proposed. Just look at your opposable thumbs. Isn’t it a truism that, that couldn’t have happened, by the awesome power of Natural Selection?

The smartest person on television, Ben Stein, stated that evolution doesn’t explain why the laws of thermodynamics are what they are. I agree with him completely, they certainty do not. However, I think he’s implying that the entity that designed thermodynamics also designed the Bonobo. I’ve studied the design structure of thermodynamics which can be summed up as, ——-. I would like to quote someone now. Arnold Sommerfeld: “Thermodynamics is a funny subject. The first time you go through it, you don’t understand it at all. The second time you go through it, you think you understand it, except for one or two small points. The third time you go through it, you know you don’t understand it, but by that time you are so used to it, it doesn’t bother you any more.” Cheers and this foreign bud is for you. I would, and obviously will, like to incorporate into this paragraph that I think the the +1 of Zeroth law of thermodynamics was realized before the heat sink. I abstract an ancient dude watching a camp fire thinking, “That wood turned into heat, sound, light, gas and dust. But nothing was lost.”

I’m tired of countering the religious with logic and facts. It just seems entirely pointless to say that we, the naturalists, need more reason than, “Duhhhh, don’t you see?”. Therefor, I thought that I would capitalize on duhhh. Duhh is awesome. Duhh is better than a mathematical proof. Duhh is, I think therefor I am. After studying the “design” of the boring laws of established physics and math, 1=1, and the intricacies of the human brain, one brain is more complex than the entire known universe, I have concluded that there could not be one individual designer. I’m sure you may ask how I know that. My answer is duhhh. As a designer myself, I have made everything from complete non representational vomit to photo realistic graphite drawings. But throughout all of my work, no matter how diverse it may be, there is a fingerprint, a signature which reveals who the author was. Ahhh, duhhhh, it’s Robert Sutton’s work. What more Pollock proof do you need?

In conclusion: I would like this work to be included in the supplemental work for young Louisianan scientists. If you look at the design of a rock and the design of an animal part, you must instantly conclude that there were multiple designers. Or the highly improbable possibility that a single designer of everything is currently suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder. However, claiming that the Almighty is suffering from a mental disorder, which might send you strait to hell, is not a good odds option to consider. Thus logically concluding that it’s highly improbable that a supreme being is mentally deficient, we must except that there are a multitude of designers leads us to determine that if any faith is correct it is the polytheists. Will the real Shiva please stand up! Intelligent designers: when Sutton’s mind meets the far right. The mantra is: “Sutton Sutton, he tastes like mutton.”

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